The isolation of (single) motherhood

The isolation of (single) motherhood

I have never felt more loved, and never felt more alone at the same time then since I became a mother.

“Friends” disappear out of your life, texts are left unanswered.

Nights going out change to nights staying in.

You are never alone, yet sometimes lonely.

Your life changes

Most of the time you are just too tired to do anything. ( Well at least I am 🙂 )

Nights going out ’til dawn with your girlfriends change into nights staying in hoping your baby will f.i.n.a.l.l.y go to sleep.

Suddenly life isn’t about yourself anymore, it’s about that tiny human being that you made.

All outings are centered around your little ones: playgrounds, amusement parcs for kids…

Those without children don’t understand the change in your life.
Those whom do have children are just too busy themselves to change with you.

Spontaneity isn’t there anymore

There are no more spontaneous shopping trips, no last minute invitations to a crazy party.

Booking a spontaneous last minute vacation is nearly impossible because there’s so much to take care of first.

Everything needs to be planned, daycare, a babysitter..

And once everything is arranged and you can have some girlfriends time, your baby gets sick. So you stay home

Never alone, yet lonely

It’s quite ironic, when having children you are NEVER alone, yet you can feel so lonely.

Your children are either to young to have a conversation, or too ‘old & cool’ to talk with their mom.

Do not get me wrong, us moms LOVE spending time with our children. We absolutely love being a mom and adore our children.

But sometimes it isn’t enough to fulfil our social needs.

We can not complain about our life situations, spouses or singlehood to our children, we need other complaining adults for that. 🙂

Social media is THE social medium

If it weren’t for social media, facebook groups and motherhood blogs, we would feel like we are the only ones going through certain situations.

The immense help I and others have received online is amazing.

From a comforting talk at 1 a.m to a message directly after your kids doctor’s appointment to ask how it went.

I have seen women from all over the world pull the same rope to help another mom.


Countless fundraisers to help with medical bills, to buy diapers etc.

Giving advice or just having a good old laugh..

Mothers all over the world on one platform. It is our replacement of the schools playground when we were kids.

But those that stay..

Luckily not all ‘friends’ are Houdini masters.

Don’t take this the wrong way though, we kind of understand how we are not so fun anymore to some people. Our lives have changed a lot.

And our conversations resolve a lot around our little ones.

But those that stay there through it all are the ones you need to cherish.

The friends that support you through every breakdown, that celebrate every victory.

The friends whom your kids call auntie or uncle even though they technically aren’t.

They are the real ones. The ones that are here to stay.

-x Gitte

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