The 5 greatest advantages of being a single mother.
It is inherently human to focus on the negative. We all love to complain, and don’t act like it isn’t so. #Liar
I already made a post complaining about the pet peeves we single moms have (you can read it here: 7 Single mom pet peeves ).
But since I have read a lot about the disadvantages of being a single mom I decided to write about the advantages of being a single mother. Because we all need some positivity in our lives, and mindset is everything.
Yes be jealous, be green of envy.
Note: This in no way diminishes the hard parts of being a single mother. The financial struggle, the fights with our baby’s father, the loneliness.
I would just love to, for this post, focus on the positive. Because we all know how hard being a single mother is.
Let’s just highlight the good parts about it.
We get extra love and appreciation
Everyone I have ever spoken to that has been raised by a single mother talks with the utmost respect and love for their mother.
They know the extra sacrifices single mothers have to make, and they have an immense appreciation for that.
I mean heck, Tupac even made a song about us! And yes, I expect my daughter to rap it for me by the age of 13. #Aintawomanalivethatcouldtakemymamasplace
I already feel the extra love and appreciation too with my daughter. She (sadly) doesn’t have a father to bond with, so all her bonding is done with me. So yay, double the love for me!
We have an extremely special connection and I am so curious what she will tell me once she can talk!
I know for myself that I try and (over)compensate for the fact that her father is not around. I tell her uncountable times a day how much I love her and how special she is & how I will always be there for her. I spoil her with toys and don’t buy shit for myself.
I make sure that she will always feel loved and I know she will appreciate everything I do for her.
People look at us in awe and admiration #howdotheydothat?
Oh praaaaaaaaaaise us single mothers, for we do the work of 2 people without complaining (uhummm).
I have received so many compliments on my parenting, on how ‘strong’ and ‘brave’ I am for being a single mother.
It really warms my heart when people see & realize how hard it exactly is, and how damn hard we try to make sure our kids don’t lack anything.
Everyone wants to feel appreciated, yet we don’t have a spouse to tell us that, so when someone does tell us, it is amazing.
I must confess, it is good for my ego when I receive these compliments, especially when I was just on the edge of breaking down and losing my shit.#Imtired
All parents know how hard and tiring parenting can be, so for us to do that all alone.. We kinda deserve the admiration.
I have never had this much confidence before
Let me be clear, I have had my dose of depression, and feeling absolutely lonely. I have cried so many times because being a single mom is hard.
But once I realised that I went through pregnancy and childbirth all alone and now raising her alone & seeing how good she is doing, that makes me feel like I’m on top of the world.#Ididthat
If I can raise this amazing little person by myself and be the reason for her happiness, then I must be doing something right.
Seeing her smile at me makes me feel like I am worthy, and that I am a damn good mom.
As parents our goal is to make our kids happy and properly taken care of. If we succeed in doing this by ourselves, it makes us feel like a supermom (even when we aren’t supermom all the time).
Please pat yourself on the back momma, you are doing amazing!
We don’t have to make parenting compromises
I raise her 100% how I want, with my values and don’t have to make any compromises with anyone.
There are no fights over how she will be raised, what she will eat, whether she’d be baptised or whatever.
It is all on me, and I can raise her completely according to my vision.
No one is telling me she watches too much TV, or that she shouldn’t be raised on a plant based diet. ( I dare anyone to).
There are no fights about whether your kid should play football or basketball, if your son can wear pink or not. It is all up to ourselves. (yes boys can wear pink)
Being someone with strict values and ideas this is a huge perk for me.
Especially since I am stubborn.
Ofcourse it is hard to have all of that responsability by yourself, but I am focusing on the positive side of it now.
We can give our kids undivided & guiltfree attention
I hear a lot of my mom friends complain about how their spouse demands more attention, or how they don’t understand that moms are too tired to do anything.
They talk about all the fights they have due to not having time for eachother.
We single moms can give all of our attention (guiltfree) to our babies, without worrying about a spouse.
We don’t need to explain ourselves nor do we need to feel guilty for preferring to be with our babies.
It’s just us and our lovely child(ren).
This is written in a perspective of no father being in sight at all. I can imagine some of these won’t be suitable while co-parenting.
What would you consider as advantages?
Do you agree with the ones I have written down? Please let me know!