I confess: I stress way too much about my daughter.
I’ve always thought that I would be a cool laid back chill mom, but I am not.
I am the nervous wreck kind of mom.
I am the mom that follows her child all around the playground.
I am NOT the mom that sits at a table and enjoys her drink and has a talk with her friends.
I am the mom that squizzes herself through all the small openings just to follow her child.
Yes, I have to make sure she doesn’t get stuck somewhere or that another kid doesn’t land on her head when going of the slide. ( I have seen that happen countless times.)
I am the mom that wishes she was the cool laid back mom.
Don’t let my daughter have a rash or whatever because I will google it.
I will google it until I’ve driven myself to the point of wanting to go to the ER.
Because we all know that google makes any minor thing seem like it’s deadly.
Her rash from an allergy was a blood infection, her bruises from havin an iron deficiency were leukemia.
Try staying calm and reasonable when reading that!
But thankfully I have a great doctor whom I can go to when needed.
Though he probably let’s me come over because he knows that otherwise I would freak out and go to the ER 🙂 .
Check her breathing
We have all done this right?
Taking a little peek to see if our precious babies are still breathing..
Well I have probably checked her breathing about 1512413456 million times when she was a baby.
Panicking whenever a breath took too long to come.
Reading stories of babies dying of sids etc made me absolutely terrified.
I’d lose sleep over counting her breaths.
Thoughts can play a dirty trick
I can hear an ambulance, or see something on TV and I go in worry mode.
I have actually even send my mother to go take a look at her daycares parking lot to see if the ambulance was for her. ( I saw a couple ambulances drive by when I was on my way to work).
Yes I go that far.
If you have anxiety you know how vivid those thoughts can be, how convincing.
Your mind can play dirty tricks on you!
It doesn’t help either that Daya is a wild little girl.
One that has absolutely no fears.
She climbs on literally anything and throws herself of it without even batting an eye.
I’ve had to go to the ER because in that split second she fell flat on her face and busted her nose.
Her face was full of blood and I was absolutely in panic mode!
After a couple of hours at the ER we learned that apparently at that age they can’t break their noses yet.
Lucky Daya, Lucky me!
My fanatic worrying about Daya and making sure she is okay all the time was brought on due to her rough start.
Eventhough she is an extremely big and strong toddler now, I still see her as that little baby in the hospital.
I still hear those words echoing in my head. I can still feel the ground being swept away under my feet.
It will take some time and processing for me to realize that she IS okay now.
She’s a fighter, she is okay.
In the meanwhile I will make sure that she doesn’t realize that I’m worrying so much about her.
While following her around the playground I will make sure she thinks I’m just playing, not worrying.
I do not want her to take over my fears, I want her to stay the strong confident fearless little girl that she is.
Signed, a nervous wreck mom with a courageous toddler
Who are you, are you a relaxed mom or a nervous wreck mom?