How to enjoy pregnancy as a single mom
Looking back at it, I wish I enjoyed it more since I probably won’t go through another pregnancy.
My head was filled with the judgement of others which I knew they had, and the sorrow of being alone.
Going through pregnancy all by myself was actually heartbreaking for me.
I didn’t think it would affect me so much since I am a really strong woman, but it did.
But once you give birth and see that perfect little face, it all doesn’t matter anymore.
I did some things to try and forget about being alone, and made sure that I did make some beautiful memories!
I will list some of the things that I did, and some that I wish I did.
Please oh please do a maternity shoot, professional or not
I am so incredibly happy and thankfull that I did a maternity shoot.
I really doubted about whether I would or not, because I feared it would look ridiculous being alone.
But it did not look ridiculous, my photo’s are THE BOMB.
They are a memory that I will forever cherish.
If you can not afford to pay a professional, please know there are lots of hobby photographers that would love to take your pictures!
Mine were taken by a hobby photographer (Willy Coremans) whom I also did lots of shoots with when I was not pregnant.
Take a loved one to your gyneacologist appointments
My mother was with me during all my appointments. I also brought my aunt, a friend and my grandmother once.
They can give you the oohs and aahs that the father would normally give.
It’s nice to have a loved one with you to share those special moments.
It also helped me that I wasn’t alone when I got told about the risk of her being affected by the CMV. ( The dark cloud of cytomegalovirus )
Make a birth list for your baby
I went and made mine with a friend and my mom.
It helps you to get in a good mood and be excited about your baby coming!
It might get a bit comfronting seeing couples make a birth list in the store, so take someone with you.
I actually bought a lot of my daughters stuff second hand, since it’s lot cheaper but hey, I still had fun making the list.
It’s okay to delete people on your social media account
I deleted some people, because they made me feel bad. And that is totally okay.
You do not have to keep people on you facebook out of fear that they might get mad once deleted.
Surround yourself with positive people only. In real life and online.
It’s also okay to ‘delete’ people in real life
Like I said, you do not need any negativity in your life.
I luckily have a few good friends, who sometimes can say some dumb things (lol) but with their best intention.
– Oh do not let your hormones get the best of you, not everything people say is meant in a bad way.
Vent to other single moms
No one understands your struggles like other single moms.
Search for single mom groups on Facebook or any other platform.
And talk with them, tell them what you are struggling with. They will listen and understand.
You might even receive some material help if needed ! Might surprise you how giving people can be.
Let someone throw you a babyshower
I actually declined to have one. I felt pathetic and alone and sad. And I did not want others to see how pathetic I was.
Oh those pesky hormones… Of course I was not pathetic.
If I could turn back time I would have one ! Celebrate your precious pregnancy !
Get a pregnancy massage
I got several during my pregnancy. I had a lot of back and pelvic pain and the massages gave me some relief.
Take care of yourself, you deserve it!
And as fate works: I found out she was a midwife, wich made her be my midwife too !
Don’t worry too much about the dad
This is something that I definitely wish I had done.
I basically spent my whole pregnancy hoping that he would turn around and be there for us.
One year later and he still isn’t there. ( I still hope he will turn around.. silly right )
If I had known I wouldn’t worry so much about what her last name would be, if he would want her baptized, if he would want.. blablabla
I actually only made her birth official at the last minute, because I didn’t know what her last name would be.
Because I still hoped he would show up.
So do not count on him magically showing up. He might, he might not. Just focus on you and your precious baby.
To sum it all up
Do anything that you would have done if you weren’t single. Throw that big party, enjoy those ultrasounds.
Prepare for your baby, decorate their sleeping place, buy those pretty clothes!
Get all vamped up and get a super special pregnancy shoot!
Tell rude people to fuck off.
Take care of yourself.
It’s not always easy, but it is all worth it.
Surround yourself with people who love and support you.
I hope this can be helpful to some !
Moms reading this, what did you do to make sure you enjoyed your pregnancy?
Let me know in the comments!