Help! My baby wants to be carried all the time
Congratulations! You have a normal baby! It is completely natural that your baby wants to be carried all the time.
If you are looking for a ‘solution’ to your ‘broken baby’ I am sorry, the only solution is: CARRY THEM.
I know, you didn’t want to hear that, but it’s the truth.
Screening through all the parenting groups I am in this is one of the most asked questions.
And I completely understand that, since it doesn’t really get talked about.
People only want to talk about what they think are succeses.
Yet tending to your baby’s needs is the biggest succes.
My daughter’s first months of her life
My daughter was one of those baby’s.
Actually she had colics, which meant that she wanted/needed to be held day & night.
The first 4 months of her life she cried non-stop from 20h00 till around 7h in the morning. No lies.
So I carried her. Constantly.
Do you know why babies love/need to be carried? We are ‘carry mammals’. Biological explenation-Babiesneedtobecarried
It is in our biology to want to be carried, to NEED to be carried.
When we are born we are totally helpless. We can’t walk,crawl,hold our head up, defend ourselves.
Babies completely rely on their parents. And they know that.
So no, your baby is not trying to sabotage you. They just don’t know any better than to express themselves crying to make sure their needs are met.
If your baby cries a lot ofcourse get her/him checked out by your pediatrician. It can be due to colics or reflux or something else.
Your baby has just spent +-9 lovely months being close to you, in a warm and soft environment.
Then you give birth and bam, byebye closeness, warmth & softness.
It is not reasonable to expect a little helpless baby to be able from day 1 to not be close to you.
Your baby wants to be carried all the times because (s)he needs you to.
That’s why the ‘4th trimester’ has been giving more attention lately: they need you to carry them. Especially those first months.
Carry them, cuddle them and love them. They are only this little for so long.
One day, when your baby is ready, (s)he will start to explore the world by theirself.
And they will do so confidently and sure of theirselves, because during those ‘carrying’ months you learned your baby that you are there 24/7. And what gives you more confidence than knowing that ?
No your baby will not get spoiled or stay dependant on you
I fucking love this. I really do.
My daughter is not food, she can not spoil.
I have heard this so many times that I came to the point of finding it hilarious.
Last month my daughter had another check up about her development (which was absolutely perfect). (Please do read her story The dark cloud of cytomegalovirus)
I received the compliment that they had never seen a 12 month old baby so confident, so sure of herself, so independant and daring without any fear or hesitation.
And you know why? Because I carried her for as long as she wanted/needed. (Ofcourse I still carry her now, just not as much.)
I never let her cry it out, she knows that if something would happen, mommy will be there in a second to help her, to comfort her.
And that is how you ‘create’ confident babies: by giving them the comfort and support that they need.
It will be hard at times but it will be worth it
I have absolutely no idea how I survived those first months.
It was hell.
I was still in so much pain from my c-section and totally exhausted and stiff. Being a single mom made it twice as hard.
Yet I had to carry her 24/7. No rest.
Make it easier on yourself and get a proper baby carrier.
I am so glad that I did not for 1 second doubt my instincts and didn’t gave in to everyone telling me to let her ‘cry it out’. I held her all the time and I am so happy that I properly informed myself about what is best for a baby and what isn’t.
Sadly some people do want the best for their babies, but they just aren’t properly informed.
To let a helpless baby that needs his mommy (or daddy) cry all alone is so sad. You would not let one of your friends cry all alone in another room. Why would you do that to your baby? Your baby needs your comfort.
Get a proper baby carrier
I have used two baby carriers: a wrap and when she got bigger I used a Manduca carrier.
A wrap one is really easy when they are smaller, but once my daughter got older and moved more I switched.
Do make sure to use one that is ergonomically correct. You can find more info about that on this link http://www.becomingmamas.com/babywearing/
For the first couple of months I used this wrap:
This one is a more affordable option:
If you prefer a sling wrap I have heard good reviews about this one:
Once she gotten older and heavier I switched to a Manduca carrier. It costs a bit more but is made of organic material (hemp) and is usable up until 20kgs. It was recommended by my midwive.
This a same type carrier yet more affordable:
Carrying your baby with a carrier makes your live easier
You can prepare your dinner, clean some stuff up, run your errands.
When your baby is in a carrier instead of a stroller you have your hands free.
Since your baby is with you all the time they will learn things lot faster and easier.
They see you do lots of stuff which makes them want to learn it too.
Monkey see, monkey do.
It helps them form patterns in their brain to prepare themselves to do it all by theirselves.
This is an interesting article about some of the benefits: Baby wearing benefits
But how will my baby sleep?
My daughter slept on me during those first months. Whether in my arms or in her carrier.
It was the only way she slept, and if you think about it: it’s normal.
Everytime I tried to lay her down she’d wake up. I mean, wouldn’t you? You are sleeping and suddenly you ‘fall down’ and are in a cold place, no more mommy’s smell, no more mommy’s touch..
Don’t worry, you will not have a 15 year old child still sleeping on you.
Your baby will sleep ‘alone’ (not on you) when your baby is ready. ( I bedshare with my daughter)
Mine started to sleep next to me once she was 4-5 months old.
Just enjoy those extra baby cuddles!
You will never regret time spent with your baby
It will be hard at times, but I promise you, you will not regret carrying your baby.
You will miss it once they are teenagers cussing you out. (Let’s hope not lol)
So please, tell people with their (good intentioned) yet oh-so-wrong advice to F off and carry your baby.
I have used Amazon affiliate links in this post. This means I could receive benefits from any purchases made. Ofcourse I care about my integrity and only shared products that are worth it.
I hope you have learned from my post that it is completely normal that your baby wants to be carried all the time.
And that baby carriers make your life so much easier!
Do you babywear? Are you planning to? Let me know in the comments.
Thank you for reading!